Aging Well
April 21st, 2009 The first half of each year is always a busy season for me, with lots of travel. giving talks and teaching workshops. So I haven’t had as much time for blogging about what I’m seeing in the faces around me - much of the time it’s a choice of Twitter or nothing! But here I am back again, because of a flurry of questions I’ve recently had in media interviews about if Chinese face reading can help us avoid aging.
So many of us tend to look in the mirror and cringe when we see wrinkles developing or changes to our faces as we grow older. This isn’t surprising since our culture has such a limited definition of beauty, and with enormous pressure to fit into narrow parameters of what’s considered attractive. And as we see signs of our aging, we’re also reminded that we’re coming closer to the end of our lives here, which can contribute to our viewing getting older with fear and resistance.
But I still find it fascinating that our culture’s reaction to aging is so extreme. What if we approached other stages of life with this mindset? What if we felt our 10-12 year old children, on the brink of adolescence, should delay puberty? What if there were drugs and procedures, creams and potions to stop their bodies and faces from developing into this next natural stage of life? What if we tried to prevent our babies from learning to walk, and churned out books for parents about how not to let your children look their age? How ridiculous and horrifying that sounds!
And yet we look at the later phases of life with their associated changes as bad, to be delayed and resisted for as long as possible. But Chinese face reading reveals that many of the wrinkles and other changes to our faces at this stage are actually powerfully positive signs of the lessons we’ve learned, experiences integrated, and wisdom gained.
For instance, those lines by the corners of our eyes, that the West calls “Crow’s Feet”, are termed “Joy Lines” in Chinese face reading. They’re the sign of someone who’s been able to keep an open heart in life, to be able to be loving with other people. These lines develop through frequent smiling, as a genuine smile involves both the muscles around the mouth and the eyes. These lines are often the sign of a courageous heart, that despite having been hurt in the past, this person has been strong enough to maintain their open-heartedness. So this is a wonderful sign on your face, and certainly not one you’d want to make disappear!
Now, there are signs of aging that develop on our faces when our energy becomes out of balance in life, due to our falling into patterns of negative emotions, such as pessimism, anger or sadness. Our faces are just reflections of who we are inside, the history of our reactions to our life experiences, our choices about how we feel, and our expectations about the future.
For instance, by middle age, it’s not uncommon for a person’s mouth to be turned down, or with lips held very tightly, or even with vertical wrinkles above their upper lip. This can be a reflection of how stressed they are overall, and frequently it also shows they’re holding on to the disappointments they’ve had in their lives, and carrying a more negative attitude as a result.
They may have had a truly difficult time, had important hopes and expectations go unfulfilled. But by developing a pattern of negativity, they’re almost ensuring these experiences will continue. One of the many things our mouths represent is how well satisfied we feel and how receptive we are to other people and life in general. A turned-down mouth or tight lips basically gives the message, “I’ve been disappointed so many times in the past, and I’m sure I’ll be disappointed again.” And the universe will certainly comply!
This certainly is a sign of the kind of aging that we want to avoid. One thing I suggest is to occasionally become aware of how you’re holding your mouth as you go through the day, much like you check your rearview mirror as you drive. If you become aware of tension there, or feel your mouth turning down, consciously relax your lips, and create a small smile. You’ll be amazed at the impact a simple practice like this can have on changing subtle but longstanding patterns of emotion, thought and even behavior.
There was a recent study of women identical twins’ faces, to see how environmental and lifestyle factors affected aging. Since twins are genetically programmed to age the same way, then any differences in how they aged could be attributed to external factors. They found that things like smoking and sun exposure did age people faster. But they also discovered that the twins who’d experienced more emotional stress aged faster, and those who had struggled with depression did so as well. And as I gazed at these photographs, I saw so much more information presented on their faces. In many cases, the twin who had aged faster had a face that showed she was holding on to anger or hurt, was seeing life through a negative filter, so stuck in her belief system, she seemed barely still open to receive, or give love.
So, how to avoid signs of aging on your face? Many of the signs that develop are wonderful indications of the depth of your own personal growth, and heroic journey through life – and no one should want to avoid those. And the others are ones I consider gifts – early warning signs, if you know how to read them, that you’ve navigated slightly off course, and how to come back into balance.
And just because our culture hasn’t yet embraced aging in this way, I believe we’re poised for change. I think we’re moving beyond many old mindsets now, about to experience a shift into celebrating aging as another powerful stage of being. I’ll see you there, Joy Lines intact!
So many of us tend to look in the mirror and cringe when we see wrinkles developing or changes to our faces as we grow older. This isn’t surprising since our culture has such a limited definition of beauty, and with enormous pressure to fit into narrow parameters of what’s considered attractive. And as we see signs of our aging, we’re also reminded that we’re coming closer to the end of our lives here, which can contribute to our viewing getting older with fear and resistance.
But I still find it fascinating that our culture’s reaction to aging is so extreme. What if we approached other stages of life with this mindset? What if we felt our 10-12 year old children, on the brink of adolescence, should delay puberty? What if there were drugs and procedures, creams and potions to stop their bodies and faces from developing into this next natural stage of life? What if we tried to prevent our babies from learning to walk, and churned out books for parents about how not to let your children look their age? How ridiculous and horrifying that sounds!
And yet we look at the later phases of life with their associated changes as bad, to be delayed and resisted for as long as possible. But Chinese face reading reveals that many of the wrinkles and other changes to our faces at this stage are actually powerfully positive signs of the lessons we’ve learned, experiences integrated, and wisdom gained.
For instance, those lines by the corners of our eyes, that the West calls “Crow’s Feet”, are termed “Joy Lines” in Chinese face reading. They’re the sign of someone who’s been able to keep an open heart in life, to be able to be loving with other people. These lines develop through frequent smiling, as a genuine smile involves both the muscles around the mouth and the eyes. These lines are often the sign of a courageous heart, that despite having been hurt in the past, this person has been strong enough to maintain their open-heartedness. So this is a wonderful sign on your face, and certainly not one you’d want to make disappear!
Now, there are signs of aging that develop on our faces when our energy becomes out of balance in life, due to our falling into patterns of negative emotions, such as pessimism, anger or sadness. Our faces are just reflections of who we are inside, the history of our reactions to our life experiences, our choices about how we feel, and our expectations about the future.
For instance, by middle age, it’s not uncommon for a person’s mouth to be turned down, or with lips held very tightly, or even with vertical wrinkles above their upper lip. This can be a reflection of how stressed they are overall, and frequently it also shows they’re holding on to the disappointments they’ve had in their lives, and carrying a more negative attitude as a result.
They may have had a truly difficult time, had important hopes and expectations go unfulfilled. But by developing a pattern of negativity, they’re almost ensuring these experiences will continue. One of the many things our mouths represent is how well satisfied we feel and how receptive we are to other people and life in general. A turned-down mouth or tight lips basically gives the message, “I’ve been disappointed so many times in the past, and I’m sure I’ll be disappointed again.” And the universe will certainly comply!
This certainly is a sign of the kind of aging that we want to avoid. One thing I suggest is to occasionally become aware of how you’re holding your mouth as you go through the day, much like you check your rearview mirror as you drive. If you become aware of tension there, or feel your mouth turning down, consciously relax your lips, and create a small smile. You’ll be amazed at the impact a simple practice like this can have on changing subtle but longstanding patterns of emotion, thought and even behavior.
There was a recent study of women identical twins’ faces, to see how environmental and lifestyle factors affected aging. Since twins are genetically programmed to age the same way, then any differences in how they aged could be attributed to external factors. They found that things like smoking and sun exposure did age people faster. But they also discovered that the twins who’d experienced more emotional stress aged faster, and those who had struggled with depression did so as well. And as I gazed at these photographs, I saw so much more information presented on their faces. In many cases, the twin who had aged faster had a face that showed she was holding on to anger or hurt, was seeing life through a negative filter, so stuck in her belief system, she seemed barely still open to receive, or give love.
So, how to avoid signs of aging on your face? Many of the signs that develop are wonderful indications of the depth of your own personal growth, and heroic journey through life – and no one should want to avoid those. And the others are ones I consider gifts – early warning signs, if you know how to read them, that you’ve navigated slightly off course, and how to come back into balance.
And just because our culture hasn’t yet embraced aging in this way, I believe we’re poised for change. I think we’re moving beyond many old mindsets now, about to experience a shift into celebrating aging as another powerful stage of being. I’ll see you there, Joy Lines intact!
Barack Obama’s face may be one reason he got elected!
March 3rd, 2009 We all unconsciously read and react to faces, and this impacts all aspects of our everyday lives. For instance, when it comes to politics – Even scientific research reveals that voters’ reaction to politicians’ faces significantly affects their chances. In one study, volunteers were shown images of candidate’s faces in past, low-profile races, and were able to choose the winner 67 percent of the time, solely based on the candidates’ appearance. In another study, it was found that it’s the politician with the strongest jaw who will always win the election.
So what in Barack Obama’s face might have contributed to his success? Here is what Chinese Face Reading has to say:
1 – His ears stick out. This reveals a highly independent nature, not always doing what he’s told.
2 – His eyebrows are straight lines. This means he evaluates carefully before making a decision, has a very logical and practical thought process, and can have a laser-like vision for the future. (As opposed to Michelle Obama’s eyebrows, which reveal a different decision-making style!)
3 – His hairline is straight. This indicates a rebellious streak, a bit of a rule breaker, and potential paradigm-shifter.
4 – His jaw is well-defined but a bit narrow. This reveals strong values, firm integrity, and yet he’s not too stuck in his own belief system. It means he is flexible, will listen to others and change his mind if merited.
5 – He has a mole near his nose in an important place that shows he has a powerful purpose in life, and a strong need to be authentic, which other people will sense and trust him even more.
6 – Obama’s face matches his message. If there were three words that Chinese face reading would glean from his face about his overall ‘theme’ as a person, they would be: “hope, optimism, and change.” Sound familiar?
So what in Barack Obama’s face might have contributed to his success? Here is what Chinese Face Reading has to say:
1 – His ears stick out. This reveals a highly independent nature, not always doing what he’s told.
2 – His eyebrows are straight lines. This means he evaluates carefully before making a decision, has a very logical and practical thought process, and can have a laser-like vision for the future. (As opposed to Michelle Obama’s eyebrows, which reveal a different decision-making style!)
3 – His hairline is straight. This indicates a rebellious streak, a bit of a rule breaker, and potential paradigm-shifter.
4 – His jaw is well-defined but a bit narrow. This reveals strong values, firm integrity, and yet he’s not too stuck in his own belief system. It means he is flexible, will listen to others and change his mind if merited.
5 – He has a mole near his nose in an important place that shows he has a powerful purpose in life, and a strong need to be authentic, which other people will sense and trust him even more.
6 – Obama’s face matches his message. If there were three words that Chinese face reading would glean from his face about his overall ‘theme’ as a person, they would be: “hope, optimism, and change.” Sound familiar?
Hello, Gorgeous
January 19th, 2009 Let’s start out with two things – first, something fun, and then move on to what put me on my soapbox today!
Did you know that redheads have more sex?! It’s true – there was a study by a scientist in Hamburg, Germany that found: “The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair color, with more partners and having sex more often than the average.”
This is actually validated by Chinese face reading. People with red hair are considered to be naturally more flirtatious than others! But it’s not necessarily with sexual intent. They’ll tend to flirt with men, women, kids, pets, flowers, birds in trees! It’s not about sex, it’s about the pure delight of connecting, exchanging a little spark with another being. But because they do it so much, they’re more likely to end up having more sexual encounters!
Now, before the office redhead gets pegged as the office sexpot, let me hasten to say that you can’t single out just one aspect of someone’s face and know everything there is to know about them. In fact, other features can diminish the influence of her red hair. Her flirtatiousness could be modified by a strong reserve shown in deep-set eyes, for instance. So, face reading is about how her features together reveal the unique choreography of her inner dance.
And yes, as some of you have noticed, I have red hair (that’s not me on the cover of my book)! And I have to admit my son has rolled his eyes more than once as I run up to compliment a tree on the wonderful job it’s done with its blossoms! As for any other kinds of encounters – no comment!
OK, now on to my soapbox. Let me explain what put me there.
Some people ask me if I ever get overwhelmed by being able to read people’s faces, seeing who they really are written so clearly in their features. I know what the thought behind the question is – ‘You must see awful things – negative thoughts, secrets you don’t want to know, problems they’re trying to conceal!’
And often people are nervous meeting me, thinking I can see everything that’s wrong with them. But this isn’t how it is at all. I think you are flat-out gorgeous.
I don’t see things that are “wrong” with you. What I see is your vital spirit expressed in your own unique design, and your heroic journey through life so far. I see the challenges you’ve had, the decisions you’ve made, the lessons you’ve learned and how that has all shaped you to be the person you are in this present moment. And I see the person you have the potential to become. It never fails to take my breath away.
If only you knew how gorgeous you really are.
I work with all different kinds of people, many of whom are so used to looking in the mirror and cringing. This includes a lot of baby boomer generation women – women who have shattered the ceiling for the women following behind them, who have done amazing work to successfully changing our culture forever.
When they were young, women were supposed to wear girdles and dresses, never to work outside of the home, and have no ambition aside from making sure they got married and had children. If a woman did have to work outside the home, there were only certain jobs she could get. There were many careers a woman could never hope to work in because there was no chance she’d be hired.
But these enlightened women were the reason the world has changed. They refused to abide by these limitations. They refused to dress the way they were told, or stay in the only professions open to women. It often took great courage to stand up for what they knew was right. They received enormous abuse and ridicule in many cases, if not outright aggression from others. Many people today have forgotten what women endured just over the past few decades so that they and their daughters and sons could have the lives they do today.
So why in the world was I recently sitting across from an accomplished, aware, powerful woman from this Baby Boomer generation, who had just gotten her third round of plastic surgery to remove more wrinkles from her face because “well, women are expected to do this in our culture, and I’m afraid I’d lose friends and business if I didn’t.”
So I guess the work isn’t quite done. Now, I don’t mean I think everyone who’s had plastic surgery has been wrong to do so. I have no place judging anyone for their choices. But I worry about those people who feel pressured to change their faces because of what other people think of them. At the base of that decision is the fear you won’t be loved if you don’t become what ‘they’ want you to be.
One way I can help is to let you know that there is a meaning to every feature, every wrinkle on your face. That big nose – if only you knew how important it’s been to what you’ve already achieved in life and why you need to keep it unchanged for the future! And there are some wrinkles that mean you’ve accomplished something wonderful or learned an important lesson! Erase one of those, and you’ve suffered a loss.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone knew this! So instead of feeling enormous pressure to change, we could shine just as we are. Instead of judging another face as good or bad, we could look with love and acceptance at any face we encounter. I heard actress Charlize Theron say once that she believes our faces are like our family photo albums – we’d never want to throw away a photo – why would we want to get rid of proof of the life we’ve experienced, lessons learned, wisdom gained?
How would it be to be seen for who you really are and still be loved? To be loved because of what’s written on your face, not despite it.
So part of my intention is to use this profound knowledge about faces to start a new conversation about beauty in our culture. If someone knows what the language of their face is saying, they’d be much less likely to feel the need to change it! So, let’s continue the journey started generations ago, and open to even more expansive possibilities for what true beauty really is. Hello, Gorgeous.
Did you know that redheads have more sex?! It’s true – there was a study by a scientist in Hamburg, Germany that found: “The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair color, with more partners and having sex more often than the average.”
This is actually validated by Chinese face reading. People with red hair are considered to be naturally more flirtatious than others! But it’s not necessarily with sexual intent. They’ll tend to flirt with men, women, kids, pets, flowers, birds in trees! It’s not about sex, it’s about the pure delight of connecting, exchanging a little spark with another being. But because they do it so much, they’re more likely to end up having more sexual encounters!
Now, before the office redhead gets pegged as the office sexpot, let me hasten to say that you can’t single out just one aspect of someone’s face and know everything there is to know about them. In fact, other features can diminish the influence of her red hair. Her flirtatiousness could be modified by a strong reserve shown in deep-set eyes, for instance. So, face reading is about how her features together reveal the unique choreography of her inner dance.
And yes, as some of you have noticed, I have red hair (that’s not me on the cover of my book)! And I have to admit my son has rolled his eyes more than once as I run up to compliment a tree on the wonderful job it’s done with its blossoms! As for any other kinds of encounters – no comment!
OK, now on to my soapbox. Let me explain what put me there.
Some people ask me if I ever get overwhelmed by being able to read people’s faces, seeing who they really are written so clearly in their features. I know what the thought behind the question is – ‘You must see awful things – negative thoughts, secrets you don’t want to know, problems they’re trying to conceal!’
And often people are nervous meeting me, thinking I can see everything that’s wrong with them. But this isn’t how it is at all. I think you are flat-out gorgeous.
I don’t see things that are “wrong” with you. What I see is your vital spirit expressed in your own unique design, and your heroic journey through life so far. I see the challenges you’ve had, the decisions you’ve made, the lessons you’ve learned and how that has all shaped you to be the person you are in this present moment. And I see the person you have the potential to become. It never fails to take my breath away.
If only you knew how gorgeous you really are.
I work with all different kinds of people, many of whom are so used to looking in the mirror and cringing. This includes a lot of baby boomer generation women – women who have shattered the ceiling for the women following behind them, who have done amazing work to successfully changing our culture forever.
When they were young, women were supposed to wear girdles and dresses, never to work outside of the home, and have no ambition aside from making sure they got married and had children. If a woman did have to work outside the home, there were only certain jobs she could get. There were many careers a woman could never hope to work in because there was no chance she’d be hired.
But these enlightened women were the reason the world has changed. They refused to abide by these limitations. They refused to dress the way they were told, or stay in the only professions open to women. It often took great courage to stand up for what they knew was right. They received enormous abuse and ridicule in many cases, if not outright aggression from others. Many people today have forgotten what women endured just over the past few decades so that they and their daughters and sons could have the lives they do today.
So why in the world was I recently sitting across from an accomplished, aware, powerful woman from this Baby Boomer generation, who had just gotten her third round of plastic surgery to remove more wrinkles from her face because “well, women are expected to do this in our culture, and I’m afraid I’d lose friends and business if I didn’t.”
So I guess the work isn’t quite done. Now, I don’t mean I think everyone who’s had plastic surgery has been wrong to do so. I have no place judging anyone for their choices. But I worry about those people who feel pressured to change their faces because of what other people think of them. At the base of that decision is the fear you won’t be loved if you don’t become what ‘they’ want you to be.
One way I can help is to let you know that there is a meaning to every feature, every wrinkle on your face. That big nose – if only you knew how important it’s been to what you’ve already achieved in life and why you need to keep it unchanged for the future! And there are some wrinkles that mean you’ve accomplished something wonderful or learned an important lesson! Erase one of those, and you’ve suffered a loss.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone knew this! So instead of feeling enormous pressure to change, we could shine just as we are. Instead of judging another face as good or bad, we could look with love and acceptance at any face we encounter. I heard actress Charlize Theron say once that she believes our faces are like our family photo albums – we’d never want to throw away a photo – why would we want to get rid of proof of the life we’ve experienced, lessons learned, wisdom gained?
How would it be to be seen for who you really are and still be loved? To be loved because of what’s written on your face, not despite it.
So part of my intention is to use this profound knowledge about faces to start a new conversation about beauty in our culture. If someone knows what the language of their face is saying, they’d be much less likely to feel the need to change it! So, let’s continue the journey started generations ago, and open to even more expansive possibilities for what true beauty really is. Hello, Gorgeous.
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