God's thoughts on Lawns, Diane Jackman

Diane Jackman edited a doc.
God's thoughts on Lawns
I hope I don't offend anyone by using the term God in this joke-but it is easier than saying Source or any other name you choose to call the energy which makes us alive.

God Thoughts on Lawns

One beautiful Sunday morning God and St. Francis were gazing out at the universe and God noticed something different. “Hey Frank,” he asked lovingly, “wha...t are all those little green rectangles on Earth? They weren't there 50 years ago, were they?”

St. Francis offered with a worried look, “Oh, no, God, Those are relatively new, they are called lawns. The suburbanites on Earth created them. They are cutting your forests and really making a mess of their planet. I hope the humans who are working to stop the planet's destruction aren't too late. They might not be around for much longer.”

“Good grief. Well, tell me more about these lawns. What are they made of and where did all my healing plants and herbs go? How do the humans stay well?” God asked.

“Oh, God, I really don't want to go into the Big Pharma/PharmacoMafia story and the horrible direction their medicine has taken. C. Norman Shealy, one of the smarter humans, is right when he says, “The future of the health of the world is not in the hands of the medical industry it's in the hands of the people.” I pray they return to Mother Nature and allow the Earth's gifts to help them heal and end this senseless cycle of shutting off their brains with prescription drugs to make their symptoms go away.” He took a deep breath and then added, “What happened to your healing plants and trees? Well, they pulled them all out to plant the grass to make the lawns.” St. Francis told God.

“Oh, that's too bad,” exclaimed God. “Well, is it a cash crop? Can they sell it to each other?”

“Actually, no. They bag it up and pay to have it hauled away,” Frank said sadly.

“Oh my, you would think they would at least use the cut lawn pieces with the fallen leaves I give them to mulch around their trees and tender plants for protection from the cold in the winter and moisture retention through out the summer,” He said shaking her head.

St. Francis added, “ They have the grass clippings and leaves hauled away. Most of them do not understand how they could compost it and make soil or use it around their trees and plants.”

“Forgive them for they know not what they do, Frank,” God said and then she added, “They must be really happy in the summer when I make it hot and it all dies. They don't have to mow it then!”

“Well,” Frank slowly replied, “They actually water it so they can mow it.”

“Good grief. We have to create more understanding of how to live sustainably!” God cried out as Mother Teresa walked onto the cloud.

“Hello, dear Teresa. You have great timing as I don't want to talk of these ecologically ignorant humans any longer. Can you believe they do NOT use the healing herbs I created for their healing, they are cutting down trees everywhere on the planet and the suburbanites in America are planting things called lawns,” God smiled nervously at her.

“ Yes. I don't understand it either. Here, I will take your mind of these things. I have tonight's movie for your approval. It's called 'Dumb and Dumber',” she told him.

God exclaimed as he got up to go and listen to prayers, “Good grief, Terry. I have already heard the plot!”

Make a difference in your neighborhood and make The Neighborhood Challenge part of your contribution to healing the planet!

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HealthyStartCoalition

OK guys, I can't do this because I booked the whole afternoon, but anyone with a chair should do it. It's $120 for 3 hrs chair massage. Call her right away. See below:I am looking for 4 Licensed Massage Therapiststo participate in our Wellness Staff Day this Friday,April 20th from 1-3 pm! It is our Kick-Off to ourOfficial Wellness Program.Themorning session will consist of Biometric Screening and seminars. For theafternoon, we are planning breakout sessions which will focus on yoga,nutrition, and massage therapy. We hope to introduce our staff to massagetherapy so that they are able to experience the benefits of massage therapy aswell as incorporating massage as part of the complete wellness program. The chair massage will be in 15 minute blocks of time per employee. We have 32 peo...ple attending. Provided everyone participates in massageeach Therapist will see 8 employees during the 1-3 pm block of time. Regardless of staff participation the Therapists willbe paid for the full 120 minutes. Wewill pay $1 per minute per therapist for the two hour block of time (1-3pm). We will provide the therapists with water. The Therapists willneed to provide their own chair and supplies as well as proof of insurance. Professional (massage) attire required no shorts or flip flops. TheTherapists are welcome to bring their business cards, but we ask for them to bediscrete and no tip jars. Since this is such short notice, I will selectthe Therapists on a first come first serve basis. Should we have apositive response from the staff, we are considering having a regularlyscheduled on-site Massage (like Wednesdays from 12-2), where employees cansign-up and pay the Therapist directly! Pleaseforward this email and have the Therapist contact me directly at (813) 233-2800ext. 105 or my cell at (813) 758-0930. Thankyou!Felicia Felicia L. HernandezHuman Resources 2806 N. Armenia Ave., Suite 100Tampa, FL 33607Phone: 813.233.2800, x105Fax: 813.233.2809Email: fhernandez@hstart.orgWebsite: www.HealthyStartCoalition.org

Relax into Wellness ~ Benefits of Massage

Benefits of massage
Rejuvenate your body, mind, and spirit with a relaxing and healing massage.

Massage techniques can reverse the negative effects of stress on the body.

Helps repair damaged muscle tissue, and remove pain throughout your body.

I use a range of massage techniques that improve circulation, detoxify your body, relieve tension, improve digestion, enhance muscle tone, and increase mental alertness.

My massages not only benefit the body, they benefit the mind as well. Experience mental and spiritual healing as your mind releases stress and worry, and allows a renewed sense to energy and emotional well-being to enter your spirit.

Relax into Wellness promote:

Emotional Balance
Relaxation
Physical Healing
Improved Digestion
Improved Mobility
Pain Relief
Detoxification
Increased Energy
Improved Circulation
Improved Sleeping Patterns
Stress Reduction
Increased Productivity


It is always important to drink LOTS of water after every massage you receive. You may even feel a little sore the next day. That is normal.

Call for an appointment

Relax into Wellness

St Petersburg Fl. 33703
Suwannee, Fl. 32680

Lola ~ 352-356-7732

Relax into Wellness ~ Rates

Relax into Wellness


RATES
Hours of Operation:
Monday - Friday
11am - 7pm
Saturday; Sunday - CLOSED

I accept Visa/Mastercard, Pay-Pal as forms of payment or CASH!

MASSAGES: RELAXATION: 

1 - HOUR SWEDISH MASSAGE ~~$60
90-MIN - SWEDISH MASSAGE ~~ $80
120-MIN SWEDISH MASSAGE ~~ $120

The goal is relaxing the entire body and this is accomplished by rubbing the muscles with long gliding strokes in the direction of blood returning to the heart. Additional techniques include circular pressure applied by the hands and palms, firm kneading, percussion-like tapping, bending and stretching. Swedish massage is exceptional for increasing the level of oxygen in the blood, decreasing muscle toxins, improving circulation and flexibility while easing tension.

DEEP TISSUE:

1 - HOUR DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE~~ $70
90-MIN - DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE ~~ $90
120-MIN - DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE ~~ $120

For Deep Tissue I use the same strokes and movements as a Swedish only I apply more pressure and use more forearm and elbow. I don't like to leave my clients too sore after a deep tissue and I have found that mixing Swedish with deep Tissue has a more positive effect on clients who want deep work.

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE:  TENDER POINT RELEASE

1 - HOUR  THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE~~ $80
90 - MIN  THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE ~~ $100
120 - MIN  THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE ~~ $120

For my Therapeutic  Massage, I incorporate Deep Tissue, Swedish, TpR Trigger/Tender Point Release, and Arm and Leg pulls .

ACCESS CONSCIOUSNESS, The BARS

1 - HOUR BARS SESSION ~~$100.
90 - MIN BARS SESSION ~~$125.
120 MIN BARS SESSION~~$ 50.

BARS FACILITATOR CLASSES~~$200., (REPEAT $100.)
FOUNDATIONS $600.


LASER SESSION

1-HOUR LASER SESSION~~$100.


Draping policies are as follows:

I tell ALL my clients to undress to their comfort level when on the table.

Men clients face down I require an undergarment and sheets as I realize it is easier to work the Gluts and the Piriformis.
When I flip you face UP (supine)I will either,
A. put a sheet over you, OR
B. place a towel over your groin area to ensure professional boundaries.

Women clients I will place a sheet over you so that when you flip you are covered.

All mobile massage appointments must be made in advance. My rates start at $90 for a one hour massage. Please call for any further information.

Cancellation Policy ... If for whatever reason you have to cancel your appointment please cancel within 24hr of your appointment... If you do not cancel within 24hrs OR do not show there will be a $35 penalty added to your next session.

Sexual misconduct will not be tolerated during the massage. Any sexual misconduct will end the massage immediately and client is still responsible for full payment of services.

Call for an appointment

Relax into Wellness
St Petersburg, Fl. 33703
Suwannee, Fl. 32680
352-356-7732

Content copyright

2012, Relax into Wellness. All rights reserved.

The Bathing Suit

When I was a child in the 1960s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice, she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks. Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared! Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are," she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them. Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got it home, I found a label that read, "Material might become transparent in water." So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt! You'd better be laughing or rolling on the floor by this time. Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, with or without a stylish bathing suit! """You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future""" Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~"Oh Crap, She's up!"

Angel Theta ~ Emily Andrews ~ Andi Schenbeck

Moving Forward with Grace in 2012: Angel Theta Session
Facilitated by Emily Andrews and Andi Schenbeck
Friday, March 16
6 -9:00PM Wings Bookstore

Shift yourself into “just being”, as you let go of limiting consciousness and allow your natural state to emerge with grace and ease. Join Emily Andrews, Angel Healer Practitioner and Andi Schenbeck, ThetaHealing Practitioner, for a session that will address the unconscious patterns that no longer serve you or the Highest Good.

During this collaborative session, you will release old energetic patterns and subconscious belief structures that keep you confined to an out-dated paradigm. It’s time for all of humanity to move into a space of freedom, recognizing the truth of their Divinity- and it begins with you! When the unconscious belief structures are in alignment with Truth, consciousness is raised for both the individual and the collective, and your ability to experience a life that reflects your magnificence is amplified exponentially.

With the loving support of the Angels through Emily, key core beliefs and patterns that do not honor you will be identified. ThetaHealing (with Andi) will be utilized to replace them with the programs that will serve to support you in connecting to your Truth. When these energies align, your awareness shifts in a powerful way! If you are attending reserve your space in advance by calling Wings Bookstore at 727-522.6657 (spaces are limited).

Prior to arriving ensure that you drink plenty of water, and please bring writing materials for your exercises with Emily. Arrive early to ensure entry as the doors will close at 6PM to honor sacred space. Suggested Love Offering: $44 at the door.

Lots of LOVE ,
Emily Rivera Andrews
Livingtoinspire.com
(727) 487-1044