God's thoughts on Lawns, Diane Jackman

Diane Jackman edited a doc.
God's thoughts on Lawns
I hope I don't offend anyone by using the term God in this joke-but it is easier than saying Source or any other name you choose to call the energy which makes us alive.

God Thoughts on Lawns

One beautiful Sunday morning God and St. Francis were gazing out at the universe and God noticed something different. “Hey Frank,” he asked lovingly, “wha...t are all those little green rectangles on Earth? They weren't there 50 years ago, were they?”

St. Francis offered with a worried look, “Oh, no, God, Those are relatively new, they are called lawns. The suburbanites on Earth created them. They are cutting your forests and really making a mess of their planet. I hope the humans who are working to stop the planet's destruction aren't too late. They might not be around for much longer.”

“Good grief. Well, tell me more about these lawns. What are they made of and where did all my healing plants and herbs go? How do the humans stay well?” God asked.

“Oh, God, I really don't want to go into the Big Pharma/PharmacoMafia story and the horrible direction their medicine has taken. C. Norman Shealy, one of the smarter humans, is right when he says, “The future of the health of the world is not in the hands of the medical industry it's in the hands of the people.” I pray they return to Mother Nature and allow the Earth's gifts to help them heal and end this senseless cycle of shutting off their brains with prescription drugs to make their symptoms go away.” He took a deep breath and then added, “What happened to your healing plants and trees? Well, they pulled them all out to plant the grass to make the lawns.” St. Francis told God.

“Oh, that's too bad,” exclaimed God. “Well, is it a cash crop? Can they sell it to each other?”

“Actually, no. They bag it up and pay to have it hauled away,” Frank said sadly.

“Oh my, you would think they would at least use the cut lawn pieces with the fallen leaves I give them to mulch around their trees and tender plants for protection from the cold in the winter and moisture retention through out the summer,” He said shaking her head.

St. Francis added, “ They have the grass clippings and leaves hauled away. Most of them do not understand how they could compost it and make soil or use it around their trees and plants.”

“Forgive them for they know not what they do, Frank,” God said and then she added, “They must be really happy in the summer when I make it hot and it all dies. They don't have to mow it then!”

“Well,” Frank slowly replied, “They actually water it so they can mow it.”

“Good grief. We have to create more understanding of how to live sustainably!” God cried out as Mother Teresa walked onto the cloud.

“Hello, dear Teresa. You have great timing as I don't want to talk of these ecologically ignorant humans any longer. Can you believe they do NOT use the healing herbs I created for their healing, they are cutting down trees everywhere on the planet and the suburbanites in America are planting things called lawns,” God smiled nervously at her.

“ Yes. I don't understand it either. Here, I will take your mind of these things. I have tonight's movie for your approval. It's called 'Dumb and Dumber',” she told him.

God exclaimed as he got up to go and listen to prayers, “Good grief, Terry. I have already heard the plot!”

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