A couple of weeks ago on The Epic Love Show, we discussed how to have better dating results. Many women struggle with this topic and I wanted to speak on it a bit more and offer up some tips on how to successfully manage multiple suitors (a skill many women have issues acquiring). Those of you who have followed me for a while know that I’m not just a big proponent of Inner Game shifts, but I’m also a big fan of Outer Game strategy. Without taking action, the chances of your ideal guy finding you are significantly lowered or at the very least delayed.
So now that we’ve established that Inner Game Shifts + Outer Game Strategy yield amazing relationships, what’s the one common denominator that women who’ve mastered both share as the key to their dating and ultimate partner attraction success?
They all report that the #1 secret sauce to their success is Detached Dating. Detached Dating simply means that with each dating experience you are detached from the outcome. Meaning, you do not fantasize about walking down the isle or making babies with said guy just yet. Remaining detached while dating benefits you in a couple of ways:
A.) You become more magnetic – remember that you are constantly subconsciously communicating your desires to those you come into contact with. If your vibe is “No Agenda” you’ll be more attractive all that way around vs. someone who has a motive and is trying to “get” something. Have you ever felt like someone was trying to “get” something from you? Didn’t it feel a little yucky?
B.) It allows you to see this potential partner more clearly and assess whether he possesses all of the qualities and characteristics you want because you won’t be wrapped up in making him the right guy just to put an end to your dating days.
So here are a few tips for Successful Detached Dating:
Change your mindset around dating. Start looking at dating as a fun opportunity to meet someone new, possibly make a new friend and share coffee or a drink with someone who will teach you something new about yourself and where you may still need to course correct.
Make peace with getting to know multiple men. Realize that it’s 2013, not 1913. There’s nothing wrong with you, yes you, a woman meeting multiple potential suitors with absolutely no attachment (in a safe manner while maintaining boundaries you’ve set for yourself). The way people interact has changed so much even over the past decade, so count your blessings that you have options and that your choice in a partner will not be determined by the number or livestock your father can afford to exchange for your hand in marriage.
Don’t beat yourself up if you slip a little. Keep in mind that detachment is something you’ll likely need to practice vs. expecting to achieve all the time. Most of us have not reached the level of consciousness necessary to float about in our daily lives completely detached from all desired outcomes. So instead of beating yourself up, if you find yourself projecting into the future rather quickly after meeting someone great, practice some self-love and compassion and get back on the proverbial horse. It’s all good.
Please leave a comment below (it can be anonymous). Your knowledge, experience and perspective may make all the difference in someone’s life.
Love,
Sandra
So now that we’ve established that Inner Game Shifts + Outer Game Strategy yield amazing relationships, what’s the one common denominator that women who’ve mastered both share as the key to their dating and ultimate partner attraction success?
They all report that the #1 secret sauce to their success is Detached Dating. Detached Dating simply means that with each dating experience you are detached from the outcome. Meaning, you do not fantasize about walking down the isle or making babies with said guy just yet. Remaining detached while dating benefits you in a couple of ways:
A.) You become more magnetic – remember that you are constantly subconsciously communicating your desires to those you come into contact with. If your vibe is “No Agenda” you’ll be more attractive all that way around vs. someone who has a motive and is trying to “get” something. Have you ever felt like someone was trying to “get” something from you? Didn’t it feel a little yucky?
B.) It allows you to see this potential partner more clearly and assess whether he possesses all of the qualities and characteristics you want because you won’t be wrapped up in making him the right guy just to put an end to your dating days.
So here are a few tips for Successful Detached Dating:
Change your mindset around dating. Start looking at dating as a fun opportunity to meet someone new, possibly make a new friend and share coffee or a drink with someone who will teach you something new about yourself and where you may still need to course correct.
Make peace with getting to know multiple men. Realize that it’s 2013, not 1913. There’s nothing wrong with you, yes you, a woman meeting multiple potential suitors with absolutely no attachment (in a safe manner while maintaining boundaries you’ve set for yourself). The way people interact has changed so much even over the past decade, so count your blessings that you have options and that your choice in a partner will not be determined by the number or livestock your father can afford to exchange for your hand in marriage.
Don’t beat yourself up if you slip a little. Keep in mind that detachment is something you’ll likely need to practice vs. expecting to achieve all the time. Most of us have not reached the level of consciousness necessary to float about in our daily lives completely detached from all desired outcomes. So instead of beating yourself up, if you find yourself projecting into the future rather quickly after meeting someone great, practice some self-love and compassion and get back on the proverbial horse. It’s all good.
Please leave a comment below (it can be anonymous). Your knowledge, experience and perspective may make all the difference in someone’s life.
Love,
Sandra
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